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Validation, the secret to self-acceptance.

Contributed by -HP, Edited by Psy lens team

Have you ever felt the need to sound your thoughts aloud to someone?? Have you ever felt alone because you have not someone who concurs your ideas? If your answers to these questions are in affirmative, you may be seeking VALIDATION!!. What is validation? Why do we want it? Let us take a look at validation and why it matters.

Validation means seeking approval, sanction or confirmation. Validation of your perspective and understanding of life is very important. It helps you be in touch with your own self and everything that comes with it. It is the one thing that helps you achieve self-acceptance by allowing you to see, the good and the bad in you and the world around and be able to navigate through it all in a positive and healthy manner, without resentment or illogicality in any form or/of manner.

The consequences of lack of validation or a validating environment, can be tremendous. Without healthy validation given to a child (for example), they will never realize what is the truth and what is not, and will always be anxious about how others perceive her to be and what she should be. She can also start rejecting her own legitimate, real and valid experiences and understanding due to the anxiety of not being right. That occurs due to the fact that the child never gets a basis of self acceptance and no framework to build and follow in their growth of life as none of what they inherently believe and understand from their own experiences are validated. This can lead to losing of her own real identity, which can lead to loss of thoughts, lack of mental ability to be rational and open, super unhealthy self consciousness, resentment and impossibly hard relationship with others etc..

Validation isn’t about agreement, it’s about letting someone know that whatever they think, feel and have experienced in life is valid. Because it is, whatever leads to someone thinking a certain way: positive or negative, has a deeper reason than most people realize and understand. The right kind of validation leads to self acceptance, which in turn leads to real character growth in a human.

 Note: Validation is one of the key tools in psychotherapy that facilitates positive growth of a distressed person

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